Hazardous Days Of
Wolfie Herr Selfie Creations!
Life can be very Herr-y (Hairy) at times…The taking of a top-quality, prize winning Wolfie Herr Selfie can be a truly herr-raising and frankly quite terrifying experience…. It frequently leads to the likes of the “Freaked-out, Shock-Horror Wolfie Herr Selfie,” is entirely the fault of the camera, and is totally impossible to correct with even the most sophisticated photo-editing software available
On many inexplicable occasions there is no accounting for the behaviour of the camera’s wide variety of Exposure modes. The “Underexposed, Green-eyed monster Wolfie Herr Selfie” has become an increasingly common problem, particularly for DSLR camera owners. That said, if you’re smart enough to get to grips with one of these mind-blowingiy complex contraptions then you really ought to be smart enough to know better than to attempt a Wolfie Herr Selfie in the first place
It’s also very well advised to switch off the hair dryer during the Wolfie Herr Selfie taking session…Drying your hair with one hand whilst taking a Wolfie Herr Selfie just doesn’t work… All too often it leads to the “Herr Dryer-Distortion Extraordinaire Wolfie Herr Selfie,” and nobody really wants to be sporting the “Dragged through a hedge backwards” (UK saying for the benefit of the US and European viewers) look
When attempting to take a semi-respectable Wolfie Herr Selfie it is generally best not to try taking it through a Europan Ice berg….it really isn’t a good look…and neither is the resulting “Tufty-eared, Sphereised Wolfie Herr Selfie…” just because you have a fancy camera sporting a massive, over-sized zoom lens doesn’t mean you have to let the camera create a “Herr Wolfie Through the Looking Glass Wolfie Herr Selfie.” (Remember it’s always the fault of the camera when things go wrong; which of course they do – frequently… !)
How wrong a Wolfie Herr Selfie can go is, to a point, a matter of dubious personal opinion. For example some Selfie-takers may, questionably, be seriously impressed by their camera’s previously unknown ability to take Wolfie Herr Selfies in 3-D… The “3-D Squashed-In Nose Wolfie Herr Selfie” certainly has some unique qualities all of its own. Naturally this is on the equally questionable assumption that you haven’t in fact created a 3-D printed Icewolf on the quiet, on your very own, very secret 3-D Wolfie Printing machine….
Even then things can still go a little “pear-shaped” (“horribly wrong” for those of European and US leanings 😉 ) Of course if you like the “Solarised, Black Wolf of Mars Wolfie Herr Selfie” look then you may well be thrilled and highly impressed by the above Wolfie Herr Selfie… otherwise you may find yourself glaring furiously into the camera lens wondering disconcertedly how, exactly, the Selfie Camera or possibly your 3-D Wolfie Printer, yet again took matters into its own
settings, hands, paws… whatever!!!
Ultimately it’s probably best advised to give up on technology altogether when it comes to creating an effective Wolfie Herr Selfie…For those gifted characters blessed with the ability to exercise artistic creativity with paints and brushes a very pretty “Snowy Sumi Super Wolfie Herr Selfie” is an excellent look to aim for… and will show-case your enviable talents perfectly
But for those who aspire only to the highly technical Wolfie Herr Selfie Camera or the 3-D Wolfie Printer, both of which, as everybody knows, have infuriating minds of their own and do whatsoever they please to a Wolfie Herr Selfie, exactly when they please, there is only one option left open when all else fails…Pot luck!!
Very, very occasionally, usually at the time of Full Moon when the skies are clear and a certain Full Moon madness is reigning, a lovely, “Ripply Icy Wolfie Herr Selfie” can occur, embracing the soft blending of moonlight over snow on the Ice-world of Europa, where the voice of the alien Icewolves howls the haunting song of the stars, echoing timelessly across the planetscape of their frozen world of Ice.