Archive for the ‘Selfies’ Tag

Ultimate Wolfie Herr Selfies!   46 comments

Hazardous Days Of

Wolfie Herr Selfie Creations! Smile

“Freaked-out, Shock-Horror Wolfie Herr Selfie,” Life can be very Herr-y (Hairy) at times…The taking of a top-quality, prize winning  Wolfie Herr Selfie can be a truly herr-raising and frankly quite terrifying experience…. It frequently leads to the likes of the “Freaked-out, Shock-Horror Wolfie Herr Selfie,” is entirely the fault of the camera, and is totally impossible to correct with even the most sophisticated photo-editing software available Smile

“Underexposed, Green-eyed monster Wolfie Herr Selfie”On many inexplicable occasions there is no accounting for the behaviour of the camera’s wide variety of Exposure modes. The “Underexposed, Green-eyed monster Wolfie Herr Selfie” has become an increasingly common problem, particularly for DSLR camera owners. That said, if you’re smart enough to get to grips with one of these mind-blowingiy complex contraptions then you really ought to be smart enough to know better than to attempt a Wolfie Herr Selfie in the first place Winking smile

 “Herr Dryer-Distortion Extrordinaire Wolfie Herr Selfie,”It’s also very well advised to switch off the hair dryer during the Wolfie Herr Selfie taking session…Drying your hair with one hand whilst taking a Wolfie Herr Selfie just doesn’t work… All too often it leads to the “Herr Dryer-Distortion Extraordinaire Wolfie Herr Selfie,” and nobody really wants to be sporting the “Dragged through a hedge backwards” (UK saying for the benefit of the US and European viewers) look Smile

“Herr Wolfie Through the Looking Glass Wolfie Herr Selfie.” When attempting to take a semi-respectable Wolfie Herr Selfie it is generally best not to try taking it through a Europan Ice berg….it really isn’t a good look…and neither is the resulting “Tufty-eared, Sphereised Wolfie Herr Selfie…” just because you have a fancy camera sporting a massive, over-sized zoom lens doesn’t mean you have to let the camera create a “Herr Wolfie Through the Looking Glass Wolfie Herr Selfie.” Open-mouthed smile (Remember it’s always the fault of the camera when things go wrong; which of course they do – frequently… !)

“3-D Squashed-In Nose Wolfie Herr Selfie”How wrong a Wolfie Herr Selfie can go is, to a point, a matter of dubious personal opinion. For example some Selfie-takers may, questionably, be seriously impressed by their camera’s previously unknown ability to take Wolfie Herr Selfies in 3-D… The “3-D Squashed-In Nose Wolfie Herr Selfie” certainly has some unique qualities all of its own. Naturally this is on the equally questionable assumption that you haven’t in fact created a 3-D printed Icewolf on the quiet, on your very own, very secret 3-D Wolfie Printing machine….

“Solarised, Black Wolf of Mars Wolfie Herr Selfie”Even then things can still go a little “pear-shaped” (“horribly wrong” for those of European and US leanings 😉 ) Of course if you like the “Solarised, Black Wolf of Mars Wolfie Herr Selfie” look then you may well be thrilled and highly impressed by the above Wolfie Herr Selfie… otherwise you may find yourself glaring furiously into the camera lens wondering disconcertedly how, exactly, the Selfie Camera or possibly your 3-D Wolfie Printer, yet again took matters into its own settings, hands, paws… whatever!!!

“Snowy Sumi Super Wolfie Herr Selfie”Ultimately it’s probably best advised to give up on technology altogether when it comes to creating an effective Wolfie Herr Selfie…For those gifted characters blessed with the ability to exercise artistic creativity with paints and brushes a very pretty “Snowy Sumi Super Wolfie Herr Selfie” is an excellent look to aim for… and will show-case your enviable talents perfectly Smile

 “Ripply Icy Wolfie Herr Selfie” But for those who aspire only to the highly technical Wolfie Herr Selfie Camera or the 3-D Wolfie Printer, both of which, as everybody knows, have infuriating minds of their own and do whatsoever they please to a Wolfie Herr Selfie, exactly when they please, there is only one option left open when all else fails…Pot luck!!

Very, very occasionally, usually at the time of Full Moon when the skies are clear and a certain Full Moon madness is reigning, a lovely, “Ripply Icy Wolfie Herr Selfie” can occur, embracing the soft blending of moonlight over snow on the Ice-world of Europa, where the voice of the alien Icewolves howls the haunting song of the stars, echoing timelessly across the planetscape of their frozen world of Ice. Smile

The Perfect “Herr Selfie!”   31 comments

Herr (Hair) Selfies Smile

As everyone who has ever tried to take the Perfect “Selfie” knows, things don’t always go quite to plan… Confused smile Winking smile

Disasterous Herr selfie

Selfie disaster can strike at any moment causing anything from mild, slightly amused chuckles of disdain all the way through to screaming, horror-struck frustration and a deep sense of darkest doom and gloom…usually leading to a speedy and far more rewarding visit to the unfortunate Selfie-taker’s favourite tipple or/and their largest and most calorific box of naughtier than naughty, but hopelessly irresistible conciliatory chocolates…

It is also of course a painfully well-known fact that Selfies have a mind very much of their own and in the main exist only to cause a whole range of Selfie psychological disorders…these are, quite naturally, not at all easily ironed out and inevitably end up full of unsightly creases leading to a whole new batch of Selfie disasters Winking smile

Pinched Herr selfie

Hence the appearance of a whole new breed of Selfie…The Herr (Hair) Selfie! If you thought the taking of a good Selfie was leading you into a whole new world of psychological disasters consider the Herr Selfie minefield for a moment …

The Twirly-Tripping Herr Selfie is the cause of many a seasoned Selfie taker sobbing uncontrollably into their camera’s latest top-of-the-range len’s whilst clinging hopelessly to a very large tub of dynamite-strength hair gel…

Twirly tripping Herr selfie

Windblown Herr Selfies are always a little worrying….

Windblown Herr selfie

And of course the camera settings can change at will, the Wrong colour Herr Selfie being a favourite of any self-respecting Herr selfie camera…. and nothing at all to do with the Herr Selfie taker themselves…. Smile

Wrong colour Herr selfie

The Out of focus, fragmented Herr Selfie is another time tested favourite in Herr Selfie disasters….

Out of focus fragmented Herr selfie

and the Herr Rastafarian Dreadlock Selfie is not unheard of in the right circumstances either….

Rastafarian Herr selfie

However! Before you lose the will to live it IS possible to produce the Perfect Herr Selfie!!! Winking smile

Perfect Herr selfie

Smile